“Finding rhythms, instead of balance…”
Lately I have been struggling with finding an acheiveable balance of the different responsibilities that I juggle. From being a full-time mom, to working a part-time job (that has full-time responsibilities- I’ll explain this later), and with everything else in between, sometimes it feels like 24 hours is not enough time to get to everything. Over all of this should be me spending intentional and personal time with God- which in this season, it has been last on my to do list #honestwalk. And don’t even talk to me about self care, that’s usually at the very bottom of my to-do list, and I very rarely get to it.
At the beginning of this year, my pastor did a series on finding balance. He noted that finding balance is achieveable. However life happens, curve balls are thrown, and things can get out of balance at any moment and then you’ll find yourself looking for balance yet again. Rather than focusing on finding balance, my pastor suggested that we should focus more on creating rhythms and rituals in our lives.
Ever since I heard this message three months ago, I have been trying to create my own rhythms in my life and trying to make new patterns. I have to be honest, it has been challenging yet inspiring. So far it has been a trial and error with trying to create rhythms in my life. With some areas of my life I found it easy to create a rhythm for [i.e. working out has been one of the easier rhythms to create]. With other areas of my life, I am still fighting to create and keep the rhythm going [for example, having scheduled days to work on #TheQueenProject]. Nevertheless, my suggestion to you would still be to focus on creating realistic and achieveable rhythms and rituals in your life, that you can count on and know when they are coming and not loose your self in trying to find balance.
After hearing my pastor preach this awesome message on creating rhythms and rituals in our lives, I was inspired to create a collage series. I titled this collage (and obviously this post) T.C.B.-taking care of business- because I am in a season where I must remain focused, keep taking care of business, and continue to lay down a strong foundation for my future endeavors.This collage series reflected creating my own rhythm that would help me to decipher what is most important in my life, and the order in which tasks and responsibilities should be handled. The main rhythm and pattern I am working at every day is to love God, love others, and love myself.
My first line of business always, in all ways must be to seek God. I find much more resistant, difficulty, and vulnerability to the enemy’s schemes whenever I don’t seek God first in everything I do. I must admit that I have been very distracted from sitting down and spending much needed time with my Father. Yet, God’s grace, mercy, and love for me still stand firm. I know that even when I mess up or put other things before God, He has and is still blessing me, even though I don’t deserve it. One thing that I have learned in my walk thus far, is that I must work at it everyday. This walk is not always easy, but it is so worth it! I must stay encouraged and keeping putting God first in everything I do. He is the Source, and everything else is resources.
One of the commandments given to Christians is to not only love God, but to also love other people [John 15:12]. I have always had a heart for people, love meeting people, and making connections with people. Because I am a people person, it’s not hard for me to “love people”. However, what I am learning now is that God doesn’t want us to just love our family, friends, and people who are nice to us. God is also calling us to love those who are not nice to us, who persecute us, and even disrespect us. What I am also working on now is to love others through servitude. I’m learning to humble myself, and be willing to serve those around me- whether it be my grandmother, my coworker, or a stranger I just met. I do have a lot of love for other people, and God is challenging my heart to genuinely love people without selfish ambitions and in a humble way.
My journey of self love has been a pivotal one. Once I had genunine love for myself and remembered my worth, that is when a lot of things in my life changed for good! My journey of accepting and loving myself can be broken into in several different ways. For the sake of creating new patterns and rhythms in my life, and for this collage, I broke down the love for myself in three different ways. First, loving myself through my purpose. TQP is my life’s journey and purpose. I believe in the work God has called me to do with TQP. I have so many more projects planned and I am eager to watch God provide a way for it all to happen- even if it all doesn’t look like I how I see it. I don’t want TQP to be trendy. I want TQP to have a tremendous and lasting impact on society and on people’s hearts. Ultimately, The Queen Project becoming an avenue to bring people closer to Christ and for souls to be saved. For now, I basically see the TQP becoming the Chic-Fil-A of the internet- where you know that we serve a risen Savior over here and we also serve you with amazing content.
Second, loving myself through my work. I used to struggle with the idea of working, and what type of work I should be doing. Over time, I have found that it is good to work (and there are several scriptures in the Bible that encourage having a good work ethic), and God has given all of us the desire to work. The problem often occurs when we don’t know what kind of work we should do, and end up working any job. The line of work that I’m in today essentially found me- or better yet, God lead me to it. Before I had my job now, I never thought about teaching or working with kids. However, in August of 2017 my grandmother got a text from her friend, asking if I needed a job. The job was an after school program for elementary school students, for four hours, Monday through Friday. I quickly hopped on that opportunity because the hours were perfect, the pay was good, and it gave me an opportunity to see if I would like working with children. Little did I know the opportunities that were waiting for me at this job. I found out that I adore working with children, and I have such a heart for the babies! I still work for the same company, and I got a promotion last year, so now I’m making more money than I originally anticipated. I don’t make a ton of money, but the experiences, the training, and the preparation that I am getting from my job are priceless. I can definitely see God’s hand over me being at my job and what I am learning from my experiences there. Every day that I go to work, I pray that God gives me what I need to be a good leader for my staff and students, and that I am able to walk in self-love and purpose every day.
Finally, loving myself through self care. Self care is so important, period. I often neglect how beneficial and necessary it is to be able to take care of yourself and pour into yourself. If your well runs dry, how can you help others to quench their thirst. I used to run everywhere for everyone until I was on an empty tank of gas. Now, I try to take time out for the little things that pour back into me. For example, one of my most favorite and most necessary outlets of self care is through journaling! I detailed all about my love for journaling here, so feel free to check it out! Journaling is the easiest self care outlet for me. I also love to listen and sing to music, read a book, paint my nails, and most importantly I love to collage. Collaging was a past time of mine when I was in middle and high school. However, I got back into it a few years back and I remembered how much making a collage calms me and centers me.
Goal check-in: “How’s it going?”
I wanted this post to also be a check-in on my goals (and hopefully yours too)! We are now in the second quarted of 2019, so now is a good time to check-in with some goals that have been set in the beginning of the year.
For TQP, I anticipated publishing new posts and content on a more regular basis than I do now. However, I have to remember that I’m running a marathon, not a race. The work that I am trying to do with TQP requires a good foundation, and time to grow and iron out the kinks along the way. I have ran into a lot of trial and error, in the best way because I am already seeing what I need to work on for 2020. I also had to remove unrealistic pressure from myself to deliver a new post everyday. I can’t focus on keeping up with bloggers who have 2.5 million people following them. I’m not there yet, and that’s okay. What I can focus on now is to keep putting in the ground work, keep digging deep roots, and give TQP time to grow and bloom.
Another goal of mine for this year was to continue to grow closer to Christ. I must say, these past four weeks have been challenging to say the least. It has been a lot going on between my job, TQP, and my personal life, that my walk keeps getting pushed to the back of my mind. Whenever distance grows in between me and my Father, I can feel the Holy Spirit tugging at my heart strings, reminding me to keep seeking God first in EVERY SINGLE THING that I do. I can testify that when you put God first, and allow Him to direct your paths, then you are able to witness God work in miraculous ways.
My job is currently teaching me so much about my character and what I need to continue to give to God. Being in a leadership position, I am able to see my character be put to the test everyday. I am also able to see how my leadership position now, will benefit me in the long run. I do however, want to be more present at my job. I feel like I always have 50,000 things to keep up with for my job, and I spend a lot of time planning than actually doing. I also do not want to miss what lessons need to be learned while I hold this position.
Motherhood is going great, right now. I finally got my daughter potty trained 🙌🏾!!! This milestone has definitely helped our household in so many ways. I am also seeing so much of my daughter’s personality come to life- she’s so funny and sassy! My goal is to also be more present with her, and have intentional time with her.
My other goal of losing weight has been tossed around, thrown in the trash, picked up, and tucked under my bed, placed on my lap, and now finally is right before my eyes. I do not want to miss the opportunity to get healthier and to get in shape because I want to be lazy, not workout, and eat unhealthy food. I have no excuses. God has given me all the resources to live a healthier lifestyle. The only thing that is stopping me, is me. I even felt inspired enough to share my journey of changing my lifestyle to a healthier one, and being transparent about that journey- which you can read all about here! However, I have even shied away from sharing the bad as well as the good of my weightloss journey. Being vulnerable takes a lot of courage, but I also know it can help a lot of people, including me. My goal is to keep persevering and to keep sharing this journey!
Keep Working On Your Projects…
I hope and pray that you and I will stay focused, stay on the course, and continue to work towards the mark. There are so many distractions and so much going on in the world today, that it can be easy to loose motivation, forget your purpose, and your reason why. Walking in purpose is highly fulfilling, yet it still requires work, effort, committment, and sacrifice. I don’t want to take the work that I do for granted, and I pray that you don’t either. Whether you are a server at a restaurant or a doctor, we all have a purpose here on this earth and it is our job to figure it out. I also pray that I can continue to learn discipline and to practice diligence- I pray the same for you. We, the millenial generation, can get so caught up in wanting what we want, when we want it. Nevertheless, we must remember to trust the process. Great things take great time, and we can not compare our time frames to anyone else’s. Each person is on their own journey.
Not too long ago on this journey of trying to balance out all my tasks, I was reminded of how I can be an overthinker. Sometimes I will plan things out to a T, but then I overthink everything and nothing gets done- am I the only one 👀🙃? I am now starting to tell myself, “don’t overthink it, just do it.” When trying to balance everything in my life, I used to go from one extreme to the other and I could not find the rhythm. Now when I find myself trying to balance out everything, I have the perfect formula: love God, love others, and love yourself. Each one of these pours into the other, and is a reflection of the other. As long as I focus on loivng God, others, and myself, everything else will be easier to manage.
Remember blooming takes time. At every stage, remember to always dig your roots deeper into the Source and allow Him to direct your growth.
— Be Blessed.